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Windows, doors, gates...?
Sorry, I'am afraid that I forget your favourite FAT!
Screensaver says: DON'T TOUCH THE KEYBOARD!
Another screensaver title: Press any key to format all of your existing
drives!
User error. This function requires more than 32 points of IQ.
Random error #4. I am sorry! I've just overwritten then partition table
with zeros. Keep on smiling. Thank you. /The System/
Cannot compute. The 387 living it's sexual life. Please do not disturb!
ASCII ART
cozemedim, aciklamalar macarca filan galiba
cozen tekrar yollarsa guzel olur.
---------------
Ketpeteju ikrek:
\\\\/// \\\////
( O O ) ( O O )
+----------.oooO--(_)--Oooo..oooO--(_)--Oooo.----------------+
| Oooo. .oooO |
| .oooO ( ) ( ) Oooo. |
+------------( )<|>-) /------\ (-o#o( )------------------+
\ ( (_/ \_) U ) /
\_) (_/
Egypeteju ikrek:
_
/ ) _ \\\////
/ ( ( \ ( O O )
+------------( )o#o-) \-.oooO--(_)--Oooo.------------------+
| .oooO U ( ) .oooO |
| _ Oooo. ( ) Oooo. |
+----------.oooO--( )--Oooo.-\ (-o#o( )--------------------+
( O O ) \_) U ) /
////\\\ (_/
Sziami ikrek:
_
/ ) _ \\\////
/ ( ( \ ( O O )
+------------( )<|>-) \-.oooO--(_)--Oooo.------------------+
| .oooO ( ) |
| .oooO Oooo. _ |
+------------( )<|>Oooo..oooO--( )--Oooo.------------------+
\ ( ( ) ( O O )
\_) ) / ///\\\\
(_/
Csernobili ikrek:
_
/ ) \\\//// OoooO
/ ( ( O o ) ( )
+------------( )o#o.oooO--(_)--.oooO\ (--------------------+
| .oOoO U Oooo. <|> \_) |
| _ ( ) .ooo. |
+----------ooOoo--( )--Oooo.-\ (----( )--------------------+
( o O ) \_) ) (
////\\\ ( )
.ooo.
SIMM TEST
--------------------
> TESTING a 4M 36bit SIM RAM...
>
> Test #1: Functional test .................................... PASSED
> Test #2: Fall down test (10 cycles, up to 100m) ............. PASSED
> Test #3: Crashing test (in hungarian "UTHENGER") ............ PASSED
> Test #4: Acid test (cc H2SO4 + cc HNO3 at 50 C grad) ........ PASSED
> Test #5: High voltage test (at 750 kV) ...................... PASSED
> Test #6: High temperature test (10 cycles, up to 1470 C grad) PASSED
> Test #7: Temp shock test (1470 C gr to -196 C gr at 10 ms) .. PASSED
> Test #8: Functional test .................................... FAILED
>
> Summary: 87.5% of tests passed, 12.5% failed.
> Result: Really good.
>
> Your sincereley
> Nowhere Factory
TOP SECRET MS CODE
----------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Chicago(tm)
Projected release-date:
Summer 1994 - Spring 1995
*/
#include
#include
#include
#include "win31.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
/*
Reference:
Internal memo #99281-95 from:
William H. Gates III
to:
Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
William H. Gates III wrote:
"I have serious doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition.
It might prevent customers to think that they actually bought
something
_good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition to be 'HARD'.
Carry on,
God Bill
"
*/
#define INSTALL = HARD
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if(first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if(still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
/* if(still_not_crashed)
{
write_cheer();
finished();
}
*/
/*
Reference:
Internal memo #99683-95 from:
Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
to:
William H. Gates III
Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote:
"Dear Sir,
Since we have found that this last piece of code within the
'if'-statement
will never execute, we descided NOT to include it in the final code.
This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes of
consumer-diskspace!
Thank you for listening to us,
the executive managers of the
Chicago(tm)-project
"
*/
create_general_protection_fault();
}
-------------------------------------------------------------
KONU DISI MESAJLARDAN BIKAN ***KIZGIN***
ARKADASLAR ICIN EMAIL WIZARD
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dear :
[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] CS'er [ ] Dead-beat con
artist
[ ] "Me too"'er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek [ ] Pre-teen
[ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis [ ] Fed [ ] Slut
[ ] Freak [ ] Troller [ ] Luser [ ] Cryogenic
[ ] Scammer [*] Spammer [*] Moron [ ] Scientologist
[*] Asshole [ ] Jerk [ ] Pervert [*] Dickhead
[ ] Nazi pig [ ] Win95 user [ ] Freak [ ] Bill Gates
believer
[*] monkey spank [ ] man with CAPS LOCK button depressed forever
[ ] Cluless Mac user [ ] Clueless AOL'er [ ] Clueless MSN user
[*] Self-righteous prick
[ ] Droid from Microsoft
You Are Being Flamed Because :
[*] You suck [ ] You make no sense
[ ] You said "me too" to something [*] You posted to 10 or more
groups
[*] You started an off-topic thread [ ] I don't like your tone of
voice
[ ] You are acting like sluts [ ] Your sig/alias/server is
dreadful
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad [ ] I think you might be a fed
[*] You're worthless [*] You piss me off
[ ] You whine like a damn toddler
[ ] You were crude/tasteless/perverted/vulgar in your post/letter
[ ] You have the grammar of an inbred West Virginian
[ ] You actually believe Windows 95 is a good operating system
[ ] I saw a wanted poster with your face on it in the sysops' office
[ ] You have no clue whatsoever about this topic and still posted
[*] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted warez in pieces LESS than 5000 lines
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You posted a blatently obvious troll
[ ] You posted pretending to be someone famous (See "troll" above)
[ ] You replied to the above message type believing it was someone
famous
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme and claimed it was
legal
[ ] You posted in ElItE CaPiTaLs because you think that makes you cool
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
[ ] You posted a make money quick scam
[*] You started a thread that everybody is going to cross post flames
to
[ ] You're so uniquely lost I had to create a new category just for you
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed anyway
[ ] You reek of someone who learned all he knows about computers
from the "Quick Study" videos
[ ] You asked another stupid question
To Repent, You Must :
[ ] Stop masturbating for a week [ ] Actually post something
relevant
[ ] Give up your CS account [ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Slice your wrist [ ] Do 200 pushups non-stop
[ ] Realise that you know dick about the subject of this group
[ ] RTFM
[ ] Watch at least 25 episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 continuously
[ ] Be President Clinton's love slave
[ ] Be the PR guy for Canter & Siegel
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[*] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Tell your Mommy to up your medication
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
[*] Hang yourself with some SCSI cables
[ ] Take up Bill Gates' cock and cum in the name of Microsoft
[ ] Get off the 'Net and go back to your Sega Genesis
[ ] Trade in your Mac for a nice calculator
In Closing, I'd Like to Say :
[ ] Blow me [*] Get a life
[ ] Get stuffed [ ] Eat dirt
[ ] You need to get laid [ ] Shut yer mouth from now on
[ ] Get wrecked [ ] I pity your dog
[*] Never post again [*] Go to hell
[ ] Get a clue, you pathetic luser [ ] Go lick a belt sander
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] Go tell your mother/father/test tube they failed
[ ] Age 10 more years before you post again
[ ] Learn to post or get off Usenet
[ ] All of the above
End of flame, have a nice day!